I Am In Writing Hell
I am deep into a book and writing day and night to finish it by the contracted delivery date at the end of April. This month! It would not be as difficult if I didn't have another fulltime job and a parttime job in addition to writing a novel. Yes, I'm a tad bit stressed out.
Carrie Fisher once said, "I don't enjoy writing. I enjoy having written something." Ahh, that spoke to me. Writing is not all that fun. Sometimes it is exciting and heady, but most of the time it is grueling and you keep thinking all the while that what you're writing is crap. I have often thought that a scene sucked big time, only to read it the next day and find that it had gotten better with age.
The mere fact that I am writing this blog post when I am in the weeds, so to speak, with the current novel project proves how demented I am. It's like the murderer returning to the scene of the crime or someone bleeding jumping into shark-filled waters. Demented.
My agent writes to me and asks, "How is the novel coming?"
I write back, "Oh, fine."
I'm so glad we are e-mailing and not video conferencing. She can't see me bang my head against the computer keyboard and cry for my mother. Seeing such a display would not win her confidence.
I have been here before. Every book has sent me to this level in Hell where writers toil and deadlines loom. It's a place where we all think we're going to write the Great American Novel and end up hoping to be able to type THE END before our creativity dries up and we end up husks of human beings.
But I'm fine! And the book is fine! Really!